Bringing Hope to Others When You Feel Hopeless

When my child was young, we would attend church together. Just before the sermon, one of the pastors would give a children’s sermon. Many of the children, my own included, would sit on the steps leading up to the altar, where they would listen to the children’s sermon and answer the pastor’s questions.

On one particular Sunday, the pastor asked the children why we go to church. Up until that day, my child, if she had answered any of the questions at all, had not said anything particularly memorable. But this time she gave an answer that moved me: “To bring people hope.”

I can’t take credit for teaching her that. It was one of those times when children seem wiser than adults. If we go to church simply to worship God… well, God can be worshipped any place, at any time. If we go because we should, then church is merely a duty we assume out of a sense of responsibility or guilt. If we go to get something out of it, we are focused on ourselves. (I’m not saying that we shouldn’t get anything out of it or that it is bad to want things that benefit us, but I would hope we go for additional reasons.) But to go to church because by going you can somehow bring others hope? What a beautiful reason to go! It was something I had never thought of before.

Bringing hope to others feels like a marvelous way to make a difference in the world.

But what if you aren’t feeling very hopeful yourself?

These days, my store of hope is a bit low. Climate news is grim. I despair over U.S. politics. The area where I live seems to be in an unending COVID-19 wave, and with news of a new, worrisome variant, I wonder if the pandemic will ever end. While I believe that each one of us has the power to make a difference, these problems seem overwhelming.

If you’re running low on hope, how on earth can you bring it to others?

My gut feeling is “simply by showing up.” I feel like one of the best things you can do when you are feeling hopeless is to reach out to others anyway.

Is my gut feeling wrong?

Mental health experts advise that people who feel hopeless spend time with others and take action on what worries them.

While there’s more to advice for people who are feeling hopeless than just those two things (for instance, a social worker writing for Verywell Mind advises that you question your beliefs), my hunch that you should just show up anyway is on target.

Mental Health America advises: “Not many things are lonelier than watching the world burn when no one around you can see it. Find someone else who can see it, and talk to them about it. Solving the biggest problems in the world is going to require cooperation.”

And Healthline offers this wisdom: “… it’s worth considering that loved ones might be grappling with similar emotions. Opening up gives them a chance to share their own struggles so you can support each other.”

You don’t have to fake optimism. But spending time with other people who care about the things that trouble you can give you a team to work with and a reminder that you aren’t the only person who’s concerned. You have companions on this journey, and there’s nothing like undergoing something difficult with others by your side to give you a sense of hope.

To put it in nerdy terms: Imagine how Frodo’s journey to Mount Doom would have gone without Sam. When things look utterly bleak, your presence can help others continue on the journey… and they, in turn, can encourage you.

Note: Future posts will be irregular for a while.

I’ve been a rule-breaker with this blog from day one. My blog should be focused. Food writers writer about food. Pop culture bloggers blog about pop culture. On the website I created to promote myself as a writer, editor, and professional communicator, I blog about making a difference and about underappreciated bits of culture that bring me joy. I should have a well-established brand and should stay on brand. The problem is that I’m a person, not a brand, and part of what makes me, me is that I have many interests. I think this blog is better for my bringing my real self to it, rather than a professional persona. Honestly, how many years of writing tips and tricks could I have offered had I stuck to the rules and stayed focused? And could I really offer years of material that was significantly different from what you might find on other writing blogs?

I’m about to break another rule: I’m going to post irregularly for a while. Life feels very busy, and much as I enjoy the blog, writing posts has become one more item on my to do list. A good blogger posts regularly, and for a long time, I’ve tried to do that. I’ve changed the frequency of my posts over time, and I’ve sometimes given myself time off, but I’ve tried to announce everything ahead of time. I wanted to prove to anyone who was considering using my services that I can deliver writing on time.

But recently I realized that there are plenty of people out there who know I’m reliable. I don’t feel the need to prove that any longer.

So rather than suspend my writing for the blog altogether, I’m going to move to an irregular schedule. Maybe I’ll take a break until sometime after Christmas, or maybe I’ll post before then. I’m not sure at this point. But I do promise that I will continue to post from time to time, and if and when I feel ready to embrace a more frequent, regular schedule, I’ll announce that.

Thanks for being a reader!