With Thanksgiving a week away, it seems appropriate to post about Christmas shopping. For those of us who exchange Christmas gifts, this time of year can be filled with purchasing decisions. One way we can make a difference in the world is to approach these decisions thoughtfully.
Think About Who You Are Buying For
We’ve probably all received an “obligation” gift – a present that a person bought for you because they felt that they had to give you a gift, but they clearly didn’t put any thought into it. The shirt that isn’t your style. The scented candle you’ll never use. These are the gifts that say, “I don’t know what you like, and I can’t be bothered to find out.”
Don’t be that giver.
If you’re going to buy someone a gift, try to get something you think the recipient will love. There’s no point in giving something just to check an item off your list. A real gift is given out of consideration for the other person. What are their interests? What are their needs? What do they love? What should you avoid buying, because the receiver will absolutely hate it? Sometimes, despite your best efforts, you get it wrong. But most people can tell when you bought a gift to please them instead of buying a gift because you felt you had to. They’ll appreciate the effort.
Think About What You’ll Spend
In a previous post, I mentioned the concept of “margin” – leaving room in your life, including in your finances, from which to make your contributions to the world. Many people have chosen to spend less at Christmas in order to have more for the things that really matter to them.
Some of my most treasured gifts were inexpensive but very thoughtful. One anniversary my husband located a copy of Space Battleship Yamato, a Japanese cartoon we had both treasured as children. He made breakfast, and we watched the cartoon together. It’s one of the best gifts I’ve ever been given.
I won’t pretend there aren’t people who care how much you spend, but gift-giving is your choice. Decide ahead of time where you values lie and how much you can afford to give, and spend accordingly.
Think About When to Shop
Many stores have decided not to open on Thanksgiving this year. Frankly, I’m glad. I believe it’s good to have a few days a year when employees whose jobs are not critical to public safety can have time off to spend with their loved ones. Some stores offer time and a half for employees who work on holidays (though this is not legally required), and some employees would rather get the extra cash for working on Thanksgiving. But as I recall from my days in retail, most of us were happy to have a holiday off, and things don’t appear to have changed much since then. As you decide whether or not to patronize the stores that open on Thanksgiving (or just after midnight on Friday – an hour which requires many retail employees to decide between family time and sleep), take the people who will be there to serve you into consideration. Make your decision on whether or not to shop based on how you feel your choice will impact their lives.
If you want to be really radical and protest a culture that seems to value consumption and profit over health and happiness, consider celebrating “Buy Nothing Day” on Black Friday, too. REI is encouraging people to spend the day outside instead of shopping.
Think About Where You’ll Shop
Shopping at big box stores isn’t evil; you are helping to pay the wages of retail workers, many of whom badly need the money. But there are advantages to buying from small businesses in your community: more of the money you spend stays local, strengthening the economy in your area; small businesses add a character to your community that you don’t get from cookie-cutter national chains; and small businesses are actually a major source of employment opportunities. When you choose to forego doorbuster sales for personalized shopping at small businesses, your support makes a very real difference.
Think About Why You’re Shopping
Many of us give gifts because it is a way we express our love. That’s a wonderful reason to give, but it’s important to return to the “who” question I asked at the beginning: Who is the recipient? Will they see my gift as an expression of love? Would they rather have something else from me, like my time or my help with something? There’s nothing wrong with giving a gift, but it’s important that, if you are giving to express love, you know that that person really would appreciate a gift over something else.
I have a relative who has debated about whether or not they want to continue to receive Christmas gifts, and I respect that. I also find I have a hard time with it, because I truly want to give that person a gift. Gift-giving is one way I like to show my love. But I’ve come to realize that if a person decides they’d rather not receive gifts, the best way for me to handle my desire to give them something is to talk with them about how I’m feeling and ask what I can do to show my love instead of buying a Christmas gift.
Think About How You’re Going to Spend Your Money
Again, a lot of this comes down to what you think the recipients of your gifts would most like. But beyond that, how can you best spend your dollars to meet their wishes? Sometimes, what they most want is really something from a big box store. When my child was a preschooler, she badly wanted a Sweet Magic Kitchen. It was big and plastic; I would have preferred to buy her something wooden from an independent retailer. Frankly, some of my decision came down to price – the Sweet Magic Kitchen was much less than the wooden kitchens I could find, and we didn’t have much money. But I’d like to think that, even if money wasn’t an issue, I would have bought her what she wanted – not what I wanted her to want.
That said, sometimes you can please your gift recipient with something that isn’t the cheap, plastic, mass-produced item. Can you buy fair-trade? Can you buy from an independent craftsperson? Can you buy something that is environmentally responsible? Can you make your gift recipient happy with a charitable gift to an organization they support? Get creative, and find the ways you can spend your money that have the ost positive impact on the world.
Really, this isn’t about Christmas – it’s about how we give all year long: for birthdays and anniversaries, for weddings and graduations, for Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. We can treat out gift-giving like something we need to get out of the way, but we’ll miss an opportunity to show love to the recipient and to make a difference in the lives of those who produce and sell us the gifts we give. The choice is ours.