If you, like my husband, are a naturally spontaneous person, this post isn’t for you.
If, like me, you tend to be a planner and a list-maker, let me tell you about an experience that reminded me of the joy of (occasional) spontaneity.
My husband and I recently traveled to New Orleans. Normally, I plan vacations carefully, but this trip was different. I had some ideas about things I’d like to do. But I didn’t really have the bandwidth to make much of an itinerary or reservations. Besides, the trip was supposed to be a gift from my husband, which I hoped meant that I could offload much of the planning to him. In my heart, I knew that wasn’t going to work; he’s not a planner.
The result is that we had plane tickets and lodging reservations. We knew when we were going to watch a parade. And we had reservations for a swamp tour and a graveyard tour. That was it. Whole days were unplanned, something I normally don’t allow to happen when planning a vacation.
Our empty schedule meant that we had time for discoveries. On our first full day in New Orleans, we passed an interesting garden on our way to breakfast. We learned that the garden belonged to the Beauregard-Keyes House, which was open for tours. We decided to stop by on our way back to the hotel.
The moment the docent opened the door and teased us with “You’re late!” we knew we were going to love her. Since we were the only two people on the tour, we had plenty of time for questions, stories, and photographs. The docent was glad to lead a tour for people who were so engaged with what she had to say; we were glad to get such an interesting tour. It never would have happened if we hadn’t had room for it in our schedule.
In the gift shop, we encountered another bit of serendipity. As I purchased Dinner at Antoine’s, a book by the house’s most famous long-term resident, Frances Parkinson Keyes, the person who was staffing the shop told us that there was an excellent prix fixe lunch menu at Antoine’s. We went, and the lunch we had was my favorite meal during the trip. I’d read about Antoine’s and wanted to eat there, but I’d been thinking of going for dinner, which would have been far more expensive.
It wouldn’t be true to say that I don’t have a spontaneous bone in my body. When I was a kid, I used to wish that we could pull off at random roadside attractions during vacations, but the person who was driving was generally focused on getting to our destination, with all stops along the way already planned. And right after graduating from college, I decided pretty much at the last minute to drive a friend from Minnesota to Los Angeles.
But I like to make plans, and that has served me well. Many of the vacations I’ve taken have included experiences I wouldn’t have had if they hadn’t been planned ahead of time. Likewise, if I have plans (and I usually do, even if my plan is just “today I’m going to relax with a good book”), I have a hard time graciously switching gears and saying “yes” to a spontaneous invitation.
People who aren’t planners are probably scratching their heads right now. What kind of person needs to write about how spontaneous choices can be wonderful? Doesn’t everyone know that?
But people like me will understand. We planners enjoy knowing what to expect (more or less) each day. But we need to keep in mind that leaving room for the unexpected can be wonderful. Serendipity rarely visits someone with a crowded schedule.
So if you are a planner like me, go ahead and make the plans that bring you joy. But be sure also to have unplanned time in your schedule, so that you can say “yes” to the fun surprises life throws your way.
Last week I wrote about rebelling against the “shoulds” in your life. One “should” I’ve been dealing with lately? “I should write my blog post for Monday.” At one point I had written several weeks ahead, but a busy period at work slowed down my blogging. Those surplus posts are a thing of the past. I’ve hit another busy patch, and squeezing in a weekly post has been a challenge. So I’m taking a break until the Monday after Easter (April 22). Although this coincides nicely with Lent, I’m not really giving up the blog for Lent. Instead, I hope to remove the pressure of writing weekly posts for a while and give myself some breathing room in the future by having a few posts written by the time my break is over.
Thanks for reading my blog!