When I wrote about sayings to live by, I didn’t include one of the things taped to my office wall, because it encompasses more than just a short quote. What I wrote down is a shorter version of a tweet that one of my favorite podcast hosts, Linda Holmes, retweeted. Specifically I wrote: “‘Fangirl out’ – If you like someone’s work, you should tell them. Even if you don’t think they need to hear it.”
But while the tweet that Holmes shared is at the heart of what I want to live by, I loved her additional comment about writing a heart-felt thank you note. It made me wonder: What if I started sending fan letters — not in the hopes of getting something, but simply to tell someone “I like your work”?
A fan letter a week
Since then, I’ve been trying to write a “fan letter” every week. There have been plenty of weeks when I’ve missed writing that letter — we just added a new dog to our house, so I skipped this week’s letter in favor of helping her acclimate to her new home — but I’ve sent far more fan mail this year than I have throughout the rest of my life.
It’s not that I’ve never written such mail before. I wrote a lengthy fan letter to Bruce Cockburn about 15 years ago, because I think he’s amazing. After I published Geek Culture, I sent a copy to David Tennant, because I thought he might appreciate a book about fans and fandoms, especially one with a cover photo of someone cosplaying the Tenth Doctor. But I’ve only recently made writing fan letters a regular practice. Many of the people I write to are writers, from the famous (N. K. Jemisin) to the not-so-famous (Katie Langston — I’ll be reviewing her book soon). But I’ve written to other celebrities, too, including Tan France of Queer Eye, who helps me see wardrobe possibilities I don’t normally think of (I’m not good at putting together outfits), and political strategist Mike Murphy, because I appreciate his desire for a better world and concerns about the direction his political party is taking.
As much as possible, I try to send real letters. I figure if what I write actually crosses the recipient’s desk, and if it is meaningful to them in any way, a letter is a lot more fun to hang on to than an electronic message. But if all I have is a “contact us” page, or if, as in the case of Langston, I just want them to hear right away how much I love their work, then I will communicate electronically.
And, as I mentioned at the outset, I write with no expectations. I’m well aware that many people will probably never even read what I write, and if they do, I certainly don’t expect to hear back from them. These letters aren’t for me; they’re for the recipients. The important thing is that I reach out to let them know I enjoy their work — even if I think that they get so much fan mail that they will never see my words of appreciation. You never know.
Beyond fan mail
I’m concentrating on fan mail with my efforts, but of course there are other ways you can let people know you appreciate what they do. Folks who are fairly new in their field might see and be grateful for a glowing review on Amazon or even Google (there’s no reason you can’t write a fannish review of a plumber). You can thank a service person for their excellent work and then follow up with a positive note to their manager. You can email a coworker and say, “I really appreciate the way you kept the meeting moving along and kept us all on topic. I wish more people ran meetings that way.”
Whatever you do, the point is to let someone know that their work has made a difference in your life. Maybe their movie made you see something in a new light or their song brought you great joy. Maybe they made the best pad thai you’ve ever tasted. Whatever it is, let them know. Don’t let their fame (or lack thereof) stop you. Everyone can have days when they need the lift you get when hearing “well done.” You may never know whose life you have touched by reaching out to let them know you’re a fan.
6 replies on “Can Writing Fan Mail Make a Difference?”
This is good, Kate. Thank you for raising the topic of “fan mail”. But may I add some details from my own life. First, why not step away from the label “fan”, and consider “appreciation” and “thank you”. Let me explain,
When I was about 18, around 1968, I discovered the poetry and war books of Siegfried Sassoon. I could have considered myself a “fan”, but I just really liked the work of this man from World War I. It did not occur to me to write to him, by then, an old man. The next thing I knew he had died. Too late for me to write and tell him how much I admired his work. (OK, that’s being a “fan”. But there were no “fan clubs” for Siegfried Sassoon. Fan clubs were for film stars and pop idols.)
Around 1973, I found the Welsh poet, David Jones, who was another World War I writer. I really liked his difficult works, and, remembering my lost opportunity with Sassoon, I sent a letter of brief appreciation to David Jones. His literary executor wrote back saying that my letter arrived a few weeks after David Jones had died, but that he would have been very glad to know I liked his work. Too late again.
In 1983, I had been studying some of the children’s books by the remarkable English author, Elizabeth Goudge (she wrote adult novels, too, but I came to them later). I realised she was, then, an old woman, and wrote to her, expressing my appreciation and asking a few questions about her work. She replied, with thanks for my kind words, and generously answered my questions. Sadly she died the next year. But I was very glad that I had been able to thank her for her books.
Around 1998, I had the opportunity to mention my Year 10 high school mathematics teacher, and her memorable lessons, in an Editorial I wrote for a mathematics education journal I was editing. To my great surprise, my teacher called me at my university, and spoke for a while about how glad she was to have been remembered by me.
Ditto, later, for some of my university lecturers.
Alas, too late for me to thank one of my remarkable high school teachers. But I was able to send my memories of him, and his impact on me, to his granddaughter.
In 2019, I was able to contact a remarkable Australian screenwriter and novelist, Cliff Green, to thank him for his work, and (as I try to do) ask some questions about his work. He was at that time and old man but he replied, generously, and as a result I was able to publish, online, a detailed academic appreciation of his life and work.
Sadly he died in 2020.
Then, a few weeks later, I had an e-mail from a grandchild, saying that she had found my online article, and learned things about her beloved grandfather that she had never known.
I have other examples.
But let me end by saying that, if you know someone who has made a positive contribution to your life, it could be a good thing to reach out to let them know you appreciate what they did.
In twenty years of working as an editor, I almost never had any messages of appreciation.
Often it is too late to thank our teachers, and others.
It is, as the classic story says, “later than you think”.
Don’t wait.
You make an excellent point, and I heartily agree. I can think of many teachers and others I wished I’d thanked when I was younger. In some cases, such as with my grandparents, I’m pretty sure they knew that I loved them — I know I said it — but I don’t remember ever thinking to say things like, “Granny, I still treasure the things you made for me when I was growing up.” I regret not saying those things.
Dear Mr. Gough,
Thank you for this sage perspective. Your comment has edged me closer to writing a letter of appreciation to an actor whose portrayal of my favorite literary character changed my life. He is now in his mid-70s so, as you remind, there’s no time like the present.
Also, from one editor to another, I appreciate the coherent storytelling style with which you have expressed yourself.
Sincerely,
Erica Vinskie
Excellent. We should be as quick to praise someone for a job well done, a moving work of art (whatever the form), an inspiring speech or sermon – any thing that makes our lives feel better as we are to complain or criticize.
Oh and now my comment is awaiting moderation. But when I say that it says I already said that. But I didn’t originally say that. The computer program first said it. I did not.
Is everything okay, Harry? I got three comments from you — none of which seem to be the original comment that you made and lost. In the first one I received, you mentioned email not working. At any rate, sorry your comment got lost, and I hope you are doing okay.