Category: Make a Difference

Sometimes the greatest gift you can give is a meal. And sometimes the easiest way to do that is to have one ready in your freezer.

I first realized how valuable this sort of thing is when I was a new mom. About three months before my due date, I was placed on modified bed rest, which meant I was supposed to stay off my feet as much as possible. Later this was changed to strict bed rest. I couldn’t make and freeze meals as I had planned to do during my last trimester.

The baby came and so did a stream of helpful family members and friends. And then, four weeks after our child was born, the flow of out-of-town visitors stopped… but we still needed help. Our baby was waking up several times a night, typical of a one-month-old. My husband was working full-time but trying to move into a new career field, so one bad week I was alone for 12 hours each day from the time he left for work until the time he got home. I was tired and felt like I was constantly nursing. I became very familiar with fast-food drive-throughs. If someone had brought me a meal at that point, it would have been manna from heaven. The fact that that did not happen made me resolve to try to help others by bringing them meals when they were in need.

Frankly, having a freezer meal handy is a great way to help yourself on a hard day, and there is nothing wrong with that. But freezer meals are also useful to give to others. If you make and freeze meals when you have time, you’ll be prepared when you find out someone you know is in need.

And there are times when people might prefer to receive a freezer meal instead of something straight from your oven. Some years after our child was born, she was hospitalized for a couple of days. A friend of the family brought us a complete meal. It was incredibly thoughtful, but we were spending most of our time at the hospital with our child, so we didn’t eat the meal until after she was released. Because she was only in for a short period of time, that wasn’t a big deal, but it demonstrates why it’s a good idea to ask ahead of time if a family can use a meal. If they can, you could arrange to drop a fresh meal off at a certain time. Otherwise a frozen meal (or one that can be frozen) allows the recipient to take advantage of your thoughtfulness when they most need it.

I wish I could tell you that, given my experience as a young mother, I always have at least one meal ready to give away at any time. That’s not the case. But I have gifted different people with freezer meals over the years, and I plan to continue to do so as often as I am able.

The next time you cook something that can be frozen, consider doubling the meal, and then set aside half to give away to someone else. If the meal has been in your freezer for a while and no one you know has needed it, you can always enjoy it yourself. You also might want to set aside time to batch cook meals for your freezer or, if you can afford it, use the services of a meal-preparation business, and set aside some meals to share with others.

“I don’t know if I’m going to eat today.”

I’d never expected someone I knew to utter those words, until a kid at church said that to me a few years ago.

I was taken aback. Fortunately, I knew someone who was close to the kid’s parents, so I mentioned the problem to him. I wanted to help, but at that moment, I only had $5 cash on hand — not enough to buy even one meal for the child’s family (well, maybe some packets of ramen). The man I knew said he’d take care of things, and later he let me know that the family would be okay, but I learned a lesson that day.

Always have cash on hand. Not just for your own sake but for the sake of others.

Since then, I’ve made a point of having $20 cash with me specifically to use on others. I keep it separate from any other money I might happen to have, so I don’t spend it accidentally.

$20 isn’t much, but with it you can:

• Buy lunch for a family in need.
• Give a generous tip to a busker or your barista.
• Help someone on the street who asks you for money, if you feel comfortable giving them cash.
• Drop money into a collection box for a charity you know.
• Pay for the person ahead of you in a checkout line if they’re a little short. (Confession: The one time I did this, it was because I was in a hurry and was tired of waiting for the lady in front of me as she searched through her purse for change. Her sincere gratitude made me feel guilty about my motivation.)

Today, consider setting some money aside  — perhaps $20, or perhaps a little more or less than that — to use in those situations when you’d prefer to, or have to, give cash. It feels good when you encounter someone in need and are prepared to help.

I should begin this post by noting that this is not a Christian blog but, if you haven’t figured it out yet, it is a blog written by a Christian. I want my blog to be interesting and useful to anyone of any religious belief, or no belief at all. But, because it is central to my life, my own faith will sometimes come through in my posts. That is certainly the case with this one.

One very important way we can make a difference is by refraining from being judgmental. The problem is, it’s sometimes hard to know when we are being judgmental and when we are distinguishing between right and wrong. I believe there’s a difference.

Refraining from judgmentalism doesn’t mean accepting everything another person does without judgment. The female protagonist in The Bridges of Madison County may have asserted “If you love me, then you must love what I have done,” but that way leads to moral chaos. Love of others does not mean approval of all of their actions. I doubt any of my readers truly believe that, though. If you want to make a difference, you must believe that not all is right with the world. And while events like natural disasters can affect the well-being of others, you probably believe that at least some of the things that trouble you — things like slavery, pollution, poverty, or domestic abuse — are brought about in part or entirely by choices made by people.

As a Christian, I believe the story of the Pharisee and the tax collector in Luke 18 describes judgmentalism well. In a moment of prayer, the Pharisee thanks God that he is “not like other people — robbers, evildoers, adulterers — or even like this tax collector.” He also uses the moment to remind God of all the great things he has done. The tax collector, meanwhile, approaches God humbly, comparing himself to no one and asking God for mercy, because he knows he has done wrong.

A judgmental attitude has everything to do with how you compare yourself to others. While there is still room for distinguishing between right and wrong, people who refrain from being judgmental acknowledge that they are capable of error, that they are not God. Judgmentalism is all about being superior to others.

This can happen not only in areas related to moral issues but even to things like good taste — and perhaps a judgmental attitude is even more damning in this area, if only because the stakes are relatively low, and good taste is hard to define. I do believe that there is such a thing as good and bad art. But if I snigger at someone’s Precious Moments collection, I’m telling myself that I am better than that person, because I have better taste.

The problem is, even if you believe, as I do, that there is good and bad art, taste is subjective. And sometimes, we’re just in the mood for a little junk. Comedian Jim Gaffigan sums it up well in his McDonald’s skit (note: There’s a little swearing in this clip):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YDTfEhChgw

Getting off your high horse doesn’t mean giving up all concepts like right and wrong or artistry. It does mean placing yourself in a position of humility. If you come at a person with an air of superiority, all you’re going to do is alienate them. But if you come to that person as an equal who disagrees with them on a certain point, you can actually engage in a dialogue.

And if your point of disagreement is how your neighbors decorate their lawn for Christmas, just let it go. After all, you secretly read trashy fanfiction. As Jim Gaffigan says, “It’s all McDonald’s.”

Adding your name to an email list is a great way to get regular suggestions on how you can make a difference. Here are some of my favorites:

I almost didn’t recommend the first newsletter on my list, because the organization that publishes it, the Center for a New American Dream, is in transition. The center will be renamed New Dream and will streamline its mission to focus on the issues of kids and commercialism and simplifying the holidays, as well as directing more resources to promoting its alternative gift registry, SoKind. In the end, I decided to mention the “In Balance” newsletter anyway. It’s a valuable resource and will hopefully continue to be one under New Dream’s evolving structure. The newsletter comes out on an irregular basis, generally no more than once a month. You can read past issues through December 2015 on the organization’s website; note that they have not posted issues since then. To add your name to the email list, submit your information through the “Stay Informed” box at the top of any page on their site.

Climate Caretakers is a Christian organization committed to prayer and action on climate change. They send out two monthly newsletters: one focused on action steps and a second, prayer-focused newsletter. The screen shot I’ve included is of the November action letter. This is the first time I remember them using the newsletter to solicit donations, so it isn’t the best example of the usual action steps. There are always three levels of action presented, so that you can take a baby step or dive in, depending on your comfort level. You can see more action newsletters or sign up for both the action and prayer letters (I cannot find an option to sign up for just one) on their Act Now page. Like New Dream, Climate Caretakers has not posted their most recent newsletters.

End Slavery Now sends out weekly newsletters that include ways you can act against slavery. Tips include changing your buying habits, signing petitions, and printing out hotline numbers to make available to others. They used to include three action items every week, but more recent newsletters have contained fewer items. You can find past action items in their action library, and you can sign up for the newsletter on their “act” page.

Life Vest Inside is the organization behind the “Kindness Boomerang” video; its mission is to promote acts of kindness. The organization sends out daily emails. Each includes a quotation about kindness, an action step, a positive affirmation, and a short video about an act of kindness. You can sign up on their “Get Involved” page. You can also sign up to be a Kindness Ambassador; you’ll get an additional weekly email if you do that.

Simple Living Works! is a Christian organization that originated in 2012 after its predecessor, Alternatives for Simple Living, closed up shop. The organization offers online resources, a biweekly podcast, a monthly email newsletter (not featured in the screenshot above), and a daily “nudge” email (pictured above). To subscribe to the nudge, send an email with the subject line “NUDGE” to SimpleLivingWorks AT yahoo DOT com. You can subscribe to the monthly newsletter by sending an email to the same address, using the subject line “SUBSCRIBE.”

The email newsletter is full of links to different resources on simple living; the nudge is very short. I wish the newsletter and website were streamlined, making these resources as simple as the organization’s name. There’s also a distinctly old-fashioned feel to many of the resources. You may think of them as “retro cool,” but I find myself wishing for a more modern feel. I don’t think “simple” means “stuck in the ’70s.” My complaints aside, I wouldn’t recommend this resource if I didn’t think the newsletters provided useful tips related to simplicity.

Sometime over the weekend, sign up for an email newsletter or two. Just remember: You can only eat an elephant one bite at a time, so if you sign up for all of the emails (as I have done), don’t expect that you’ll be able to follow all of their tips for making a difference… or even that you’ll have time to carefully read each email as it comes in!

My extended family took a trip to Scotland this summer. While we were in Edinburgh, we stayed in apartments within walking distance of a grocery store. We passed the store on our way to and from different sites in the city, and we stopped there more than once for breakfast items and snacks. When we passed it, I would often see a young man, almost certainly homeless, seated just outside.

My sister and I stopped by the store one evening to pick up a couple of things. Before we entered it, she approached the young man. “Are you hungry?” she asked. “Can I get you anything?”

He said he didn’t need any food, but he did ask for a soft drink. She bought him one along with her groceries and gave it to him on her way out. I mentally resolved to do as she had done in the future.

When I talked with her about this later, my sister said that she likes to honor people’s preferences. She pointed out that many of us are able to make all sorts of choices throughout the day; when you’re poor, your options are severely limited. You may hate bananas, but if your only option is to eat the banana or go hungry, you’ll gag down what’s available. If, instead, we offer poor people choices, we recognize that they are human beings who have likes and dislikes.

Streamlining options is important to efficiently run a program that helps the poor, but I feel like some organizations don’t always do this with the humanity of the people they serve in mind. Some people in my office used to help at a soup kitchen on a monthly basis. On the night my coworkers were there, they would always offer tater tot hotdish (a very Minnesotan casserole), sides, beverages, and small chocolate chip cookies for dessert. The organization that ran the soup kitchen decided to stop offering dessert; this was done in the name of providing a healthier menu, but they kept the tater tot hotdish, not exactly a healthy dinner. To me, the move was patronizing, not recognizing guests’ ability to use willpower to take or leave a cookie as they saw fit (or to parent their children accordingly). I also felt like the change punished people who were careful with what money they had; they would no longer have the option to have a small treat when they went to the soup kitchen.

On the flip side, a person with a disability told me about a local grocery delivery program that went from allowing people to order anything they needed from a certain store to offering a menu of items chosen most often by its patrons. Unfortunately, most patrons chose items that were less healthy than what this person preferred — and needed. My friend had to discontinue using the service.

In addition to honoring people’s preferences, my sister also likes to offer them luxuries when she can. Recently she encountered a woman in need at a time when she had a small tube of toothpaste and a sample bottle of perfume in her purse. She gave the woman some money and offered her the toothpaste and perfume, both of which the woman gladly accepted.

Not everyone is comfortable just giving cash to someone who asks for it. I understand the concern. There are people who take the money given to them and use it on alcohol or drugs. When you give to charitable organizations or offer homeless people food or hygiene kits, you know you are providing help, and you don’t have to worry that people will use the money you’ve given them in ways that will harm themselves or anyone else. A friend of mine has sometimes purchased food for homeless people, including recently taking a man to Subway for a meal. The man still wanted money after he’d eaten, but the meal itself was a chance for my friend to honor this man as a real person who was hungry, giving him the opportunity to choose food for himself.

While I don’t remember when I last gave cash to a homeless person, I don’t condemn those who make that choice. I believe that, while there is a kind of love that looks out for the good of the other person — the love we give our children, for instance, or the love we show when we talk to a troubled friend about getting treatment for something they cannot handle themselves — there is also a love that says, “I’m going to treat you like a responsible adult.” People who give money are choosing that kind of love. It’s not wrong to decide to give to the poor through a charitable organization or by offering someone food. It’s your money, and you need to decide the best way to share it with others. But there’s something wonderful about taking the risk that the person to whom you give your money will use it unwisely, because you are showing that person trust and respect that they probably rarely see.

The important thing is that, however we choose to give, we treat the people we encounter like human beings. It’s tempting to rush by a homeless person without looking. I’ve done it many times. If I don’t make eye contact, we think, the person won’t bother me. Or, we may thrust money at the person as we hurry to our destination. We’ve assuaged our guilt and given a gift, but we’ve also communicated to the person that they are a nuisance.

Instead, take the trouble to interact with the next homeless person or panhandler you encounter. If you offer food and are in a position to give the person a choice, let them decide for themselves what they will have. If you give money, see what you can do to make the interaction personal. Perhaps, like my sister, you can offer a luxury as well as money. “I have a tube of lotion in my purse. Would you like it?” If you prefer to give directly through charitable organizations, see if you can direct homeless people to local services that can provide help. However you give, if you treat the poor people you encounter as people who are worthy of your attention, you’ll give them a rare but valuable gift.

This isn’t the “make a difference” post I’d originally planned for this week, but as I drove to work on Wednesday morning, I began thinking about the upcoming presidential election, and I decided to table the post I’d been working on and post about love instead.

On Tuesday, we will vote for our next president… at least, I hope readers are planning to vote. This has been the most emotionally charged campaign I have ever seen. Many of us are so distressed that there is a very real temptation not to vote. Please, don’t give up. Our right to vote is a precious thing that many people have been denied. Vote for the lesser of two evils or a third party candidate, or write in a vote… but whatever you do, please vote because you are fortunate enough to have a voice in who will run our country. And remember, while choosing not to vote may seem like a way of saying you are fed up with the choices offered to you, it can also be read as “I don’t care.”

Please care enough to vote.

Care because we have one of the two largest economies in the world. Care because our military spending far outpaces that of any other country. Care because our country is one of the top greenhouse gas emitters in the world. Care because the U.S. is one of the most charitable nations on earth. Our choice of president influences not just our own country but the entire world.

And when you vote, please don’t vote out of anger or hatred or fear. Anger is a valid emotion. It can motivate us to do good things, but I don’t believe it should be our primary source of motivation. I believe that we are our best selves and make our wisest decisions when we are motivated by love.

Don’t vote for candidate X because you are afraid of what this country is becoming or for candidate Y because you are afraid of what that person will do in power. Vote for the candidate who best models a wise and loving spirit, even if you believe that no candidate is particularly good at modeling that.

On Wednesday, when the dust has settled, we will know who our next president will be (barring a repeat of the 2000 election). Choose love in the aftermath.

Your candidate may not win. It may feel like the end of the world. You may be angry with the people who supported the winning candidate. Were they blind? Are they evil? You might be afraid for what our next president may do. Of course they will have a lot of power, and with such power, they could indeed do horrible things.

Choose to love anyway.

Or your candidate may win. You may be relieved that the nation did not swing over to the dark side. You may want to crow a bit about how evil did not triumph, how there were not, in fact, enough idiots in this country to put That Person in office.

If your candidate wins, choose to love the “idiots” whose candidate lost.

I’m not saying that it’s wrong to feel strongly about this election. I have very strong opinions about who should win. I’m not saying it’s wrong to express those opinions, although I’m choosing not to openly endorse a candidate in this post. I think it’s normal to feel some fear and anger, given what we’ve seen during this campaign season. But I believe that, no matter how powerful our president may be, our nation will ultimately stand or fall based on whether we choose to be people who act out of love.

You’ve almost certainly seen this commercial before, but it’s worth watching again. It may be fiction, but I believe that if we are as loving as this character, we will change the world for the better.