Do you feel like you have nothing left to give?

Even before the pandemic, terms like “compassion fatigue” and “caregiver burnout” were used to describe caregivers who had reached a point of exhaustion. These people were physically, mentally, and/or emotionally depleted and had nothing left to give.

It may be that virtually all of us are at that point a year into the pandemic. In December, a tweet circulated describing this moment in time as a situation in which “everyone needs more than anyone can give right now.” In the past few weeks, several articles have been written about “hitting the pandemic wall.” We all need love and care at the very time when many of us are reaching the point of pandemic exhaustion.

What do you do if you believe that you are called to a life of loving others and making a difference, but all you want to do is crawl into bed and stay there until the pandemic is over?

Here’s how you can keep caring for others, even when you feel like you have nothing left to give

Take care of yourself.

I’ve written about this before. Self-care helps provide us with the fuel we need to care for others. Right now, it’s more important than ever to make self-care a priority. Some of that self-care comes from tasks that we may not feel like doing right now, like exercising. Those things really do help, but it’s important we not beat ourselves up over our failures. You can make yourself go to bed, but you can’t make yourself sleep. We need to be gentle with ourselves and focus on what we can manage. During a recent check-up, I was told that my triglycerides are too high. It’s easier for me to try to eat more salads than fewer sweets right now, so that’s how I’m handling it.

Don’t try to do everything.

Remember: “Everyone needs more than anyone can give right now.” Our friends and family may be sad, or angry, or both. We can listen to them and love them and encourage them to get professional help if possible, but we can’t fix them. That’s always true — whether or not there’s a pandemic — but for those of us who try to fix things for folks, there’s no better time than now to learn that we don’t have that kind of power.

Set small goals.

While we may not have the energy to give as much as we used to, we can still make a difference by setting small, achievable goals. Little acts matter. I’ve been touched by simple things like a card in the mail or a walk with a friend. If we all set a goal to do one small act of compassion every day — or just a few each week — we can make the world a better place, even during a pandemic.

If you have daily caregiving responsibilities, don’t feel like you have to add more on top of that. You already may be doing all that you can manage (or you may feel in over your head!).

Walk away.

I confess that I’m easily annoyed by people who ignore mask laws and store rules about wearing masks. I’m of two minds about this. Part of me thinks that if we just look the other way when people endanger others by refusing to wear a mask, we’re encouraging them to continue to do so. But I also know that emotions are running high right now. The better approach is probably to walk away. That can apply to all sorts of situations beyond frustrations with anti-maskers.

There are times when we shouldn’t walk away. If we witness someone being harassed because of their race, ignoring the situation supports the harassment. But often choosing not to confront someone is excellent self-care and a compassionate response to the person who is irritating you… not to mention the people around you.