The Enchanted April raises the question: Does happiness make you good?
“Why, it would really be being unselfish to go away and be happy for a little, because we would come back so much nicer.” — The Enchanted April, Elizabeth von Arnim
I’ve loved the movie The Enchanted April for a long time. In the past couple of years I finally read the book. What the movie states, the book shouts: Being good may not make you happy, but being happy can make you good.
After I’d read the book, I was disappointed to go online and find absolutely no theological discussions on it. I’m sure people of all sorts of beliefs could debate this. As a Christian, I wish that Christ-followers would engage with Arnim’s ideas.
I’m not going to try for a deep dive into The Enchanted April here. That’s not the point of this post. I will say that I think that Arnim has a point, though I don’t entirely agree with her. One of my high school history teachers would have hated that response. She always said, “When you sit on the fence, it hurts.” Nevertheless, I think Arnim is neither entirely wrong nor entirely right, so I will stand on the fence and fiercely defend my point of view.
In both the book and movie, Lotty Wilkins is the character who, when she sees an advertisement about an Italian castle for lease during the month of April, pushes to make it happen. Once there, she positively blossoms with love, seeking to make everyone as happy as she feels.
Rose Arbuthnot — the first person Lotty persuades to join her — is saintly and miserable. She pursues happiness through goodness, but Lotty sees right through her. Rose is terribly unhappy.
You and I have met people like Rose. Perhaps we’ve been like Rose. The Roses of the world are cheerless do-gooders, reinforcing the views of those who believe, along with Billy Joel, that they’d “rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints.”
Being good while being miserable is possible, but it’s hard to sustain. When we joylessly go through the motions, love shrivels up within us. We may say we love ourselves, but we are afraid to love ourselves generously, because we believe that’s selfish. We may say we love others, but the things we do for them are more of a checklist than acts inspired by genuine love. We may say we love God, but what we really feel is a fear of displeasing him.
What if we decided to love ourselves generously, passionately, as we say God loves others, as we claim God loves us (even if we aren’t really sure about that)? It’s hard to love others if you are always beating up on yourself. But if you love yourself, how might that love overflow into the lives of others?
Think about the people you truly admire. If you’re like me, they are people who are bubbling over with love. They may not be in the happiest situation, but they are as happy as a person can be within their circumstances — maybe even happier than you think you could be. They are good from the inside out, rather than being good on the outside, hoping desperately the goodness will work its way in.
This is where many Christians would talk about how this love and happiness comes from God. While I don’t disagree, Rose was desperately pursuing God… and she wasn’t happy. One could argue about resting in God’s love (grace) versus trying to earn God’s love (works) –and that’s a fine discussion to have. But whatever Arnim believed about God, she wrote a story about a woman who learned how to love generously after first being generous with herself. With that love, she changed the lives of the people around her.
On the other hand…
Don’t we already put happiness on a pedestal in the West these days? So many people are chasing after it, wanting it desperately, and yet they never seem to find it. Don’t we too often equate happiness with pleasure? And isn’t that what Arnim does by placing her heroines in an Italian castle dripping with flowers? Haven’t we become a supremely selfish culture? And, Kate, didn’t you say “it’s not about me”?
Well, yes. We often mistake pleasure for happiness, though certainly pleasure can bring happiness. I recently walked to a nearby ice cream shop during my lunch break. As I returned to work with my ice cream cone, I was supremely happy. Of course, if I did that daily, it would no longer make me happy, but there’s something to be said for sheer pleasure.
Pleasurable experiences aside, there’s a lot to be said for the argument that chasing happiness isn’t making us happy. Not too long ago, I had conversations about happiness with a depressed friend. Of course I suggested that he get help. But I also suggested that he not focus on happiness. Instead I proposed that he adopt practices that often lead to happiness — including exercising, spending time in nature, and finding ways to make a contribution to the world (because, the Roses of the world aside, goodness can lead to happiness — I told you I was on the fence!).
And there are times when pursuing happiness leads to the opposite of good. Think of parents who walk out on their families in order to chase after something they think will make them happy. I’m by no means saying that parents must lead joyless lives, giving up everything for the family. I’m simply saying that single-mindedly pursuing happiness isn’t always good.
So, while there’s plenty to debate on the subject of goodness and happiness, this is what I believe: I believe in embracing, not fearing, happiness. I believe in enjoying the beautiful world God has given us. I believe we should love ourselves as generously as we claim God loves the world. But I also believe that happiness shouldn’t be everything to us, and we shouldn’t mistake the wrong things (endless pleasure, the latest gadgets, getting everything we want) for happiness. When our happiness inspires us to love others and share our happiness with them, we know we’re on the right track.
