The One Thing We Need Now More Than Ever

Note: This week’s post was supposed to be in the “something wonderful” category, but it felt too frivolous after the events of last week. I promise to post something lighter next week.

When I initially conceived of this post, it was in light of the pandemic, although I always intended it to encompass other events, such as the ongoing crisis in Venezuela.

Then George Floyd was murdered.

It feels like everything is falling apart. There is so much hatred and suffering. We are worn out from all of the bad news.

There are many things we need if we want the world to change for the better. But it may be that the one thing we need most is empathy.

Why empathy?

If we are to stop the hate and work together for the good of all, we must be able to understand the suffering of others. In Central Park, a white woman displayed a complete lack of empathy for a black man when she called the police, claiming he was threatening her and her dog, because he asked her to obey a leash law. In Connecticut, a protester who wrote “Your health is not more important than my liberties!!” on their car window showed a lack of empathy for those who are at most at risk should they be exposed to the coronavirus. When we treat refugees as criminals, we lack empathy.

What does empathy look like?

• When we are empathetic, we recognize that others have as much value as we do. This is why protesters proclaim “Black lives matter.” Too often, these protesters have been told they are being disrespectful or too political (as football players have been told when they take a knee during the national anthem), or they are “corrected” with the statement “All lives matter.” But saying that black lives matter is not saying that other lives matter less. Rather, it points to the way that black lives have been devalued for far too long.
• When we are empathetic, we listen. The riots that have occurred over the past week are complex. They have been fed, in part, by people who are not sympathetic to the Black Lives Matter movement but who are using Floyd’s death to achieve their own ends. But they also have been expressions of anger from people who have not been listened to. For generations, black Americans have been victims of violence, and those who have killed them have been exonerated in court. For generations, black Americans have been treated suspiciously for doing things that white people take for granted, such as stopping to look at a construction site while jogging. (My husband, who is white, stops to look at things that attract his curiosity when we walk together. No one has chased him down or called the police.)
• When we are empathetic, we act. If we say we value others and that we are listening, but we fail to act, our words are empty. I have said before that we cannot do everything, that we must pick our causes, and that is true. But there are times when the pain of those around us is so great that we must do something. Speak up. Make a donation. Call someone with political power. Do something. Because when we ignore the suffering of those around us, we are complicit with those who actively hate and oppress them.