Several months ago, my alma mater’s magazine included a story about an on-campus therapy dog program. The following issue included a couple of letters from cranky alumni, who complained about how soft students have become. You know the type of letter: “Back in my day… .” One of the alumni graduated when I did, and I was tempted to write in myself and point out that puppies and kittens were brought in at least once during our years there. I remember that they were very popular with students who missed the opportunity to interact with pets.
But my problem wasn’t really my classmate’s selective memory. What struck me was the fact that people were annoyed enough by the therapy dog program to write a letter to the editor. They felt it was more important to take the time to complain about students getting soft (in their view) than to use that time to tackle more pressing issues.
We’ve seen this happen recently with Trump’s response to NFL players taking a knee during the national anthem. Many people have pointed out that when he was busy tweeting about the issue, he was largely silent about helping Puerto Rico after Hurricane Maria. Beyond that, he seems to care more about the national anthem and the flag than he does about the freedoms they represent. This is something that speaks volumes about his priorities. Of course, this isn’t something new. From time to time lawmakers have moved to outlaw burning the flag. I don’t like it when people choose to burn the flag in protest; I think protesters can make their points in less alienating ways. But I support the right to burn the flag, because I believe that the symbol is never more important than what it symbolizes.
Of course there are times when we’ll want to vent our feelings about the little things that bug us — although I remember with shame when a bereaved coworker, after listening to us talk about our pet peeves, said pointedly, “My pet peeve is when people get upset about trivial things.” I also know all too well that our emotions can get the better of us (frequently when we are behind the wheel). But we would be wise to ask ourselves: Just how much does what I’m getting upset about really matter? How does taking a knee during the anthem outweigh the racism that the individual is protesting by his action? Why are therapy dogs on a campus so bad that you must write a letter to the editor?
I’ve written before about speaking up and the importance of using good judgment in determining when and how to speak. There are times when we should speak out against what’s wrong, and there are times to let things go. If we all paused before we spoke out and asked ourselves how important the matter really was, what sorts of divides could be healed?