Photo by Cullen328 (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
I’m a little puzzled by the story of how Maria Poveka Martinez began her journey toward becoming one of the most celebrated 20th-century potters. The story starts with anthropologist Edgar Lee Hewett, who discovered shards of black-on-black pottery in New Mexico. Wanting to recreate it, he approached Maria, who was known within her pueblo, San Ildefonso, for the quality of her pottery. What confuses me? Members of the nearby Santa Clara Pueblo were still making black-on-black pottery. Why didn’t Hewett approach one of the Santa Clara potters?
According to some of the information I found on the Martinezes, Maria and her husband, Julian, supported Hewett’s excavation team. Perhaps Maria volunteered for the work, or maybe Hewett asked for assistance because he already knew her. Whatever the reason, Maria began experimenting with ways to create the pottery Hewett wanted. This included learning from the Tafoya family of Santa Clara Pueblo.
Within the Santa Clara Pueblo, designs are engraved on blackware pottery. Julian decided to try to find a way to paint Maria’s pots. After trying different techniques, he developed a way to apply a matte paint to a polished background.
Although they worked as a team, Maria is better known than her husband. Pottery was considered women’s work, so she didn’t add Julian’s name to signed pieces until 1925. She also continued making pottery long after his death in 1943. Following his death, she received help from other family members, including her daughter-in-law Santana Martinez and son Popovi Da. Her pottery carries several different signatures on it, depending on when the pot was made and who assisted her.
It didn’t take long for Maria to be recognized for her innovative work. During her lifetime, she was invited to the White House, awarded two honorary doctorates, and featured in an exhibit in the Smithsonian’s Renwick Gallery two years before her death. And because Maria and Julian shared their discoveries and knowledge with their pueblo, San Ildefonso has become well known for continuing the tradition of the beautiful blackware the Martinez family created.
You can find Maria’s work in the Millicent Rogers Museum (Taos, New Mexico), the National Museum of the American Indian and the Smithsonian American Art Museum (Washington, D.C.), the Los Angeles County Museum of Art, and the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston, among other locations.
You probably already know this: Many kids who receive free or reduced lunches during the school year experience hunger when school is out.
The question is: What can we do to fight that?
I first started thinking about this seriously when I ran across the story of the Lunch Lady in northern Washington State. She is the sort of person I admire — she saw a need and found a way to fill it.
What the news story doesn’t tell us — beyond the fact that the lunches are prepared at a commercial establishment — is what hoops this woman had to jump through to deliver the lunches. Maybe there aren’t many laws she has to worry about where she lives. Or maybe she just did what she’s doing without checking all the laws. But the fact is that many places make it difficult to feed hungry people, particularly if you are just one person acting alone.
Although I believe in safety, I also believe it’s terrible when lots of rules and regulations get in the way of doing good. There needs to be a balance. But because I don’t like to advise people to court trouble, I suggest that you start fighting childhood hunger by supporting local organizations.
One respectable organization is Feeding America, which uses its network of food banks as Summer Food Service Program locations. If there is a location near you, contact them to find out how you can support that service with your money or time.
But what if there isn’t a Feeding America location near you? Search the Internet for “summer meal programs” in your area to find out where you can offer your support.
One important note: Local organizations may tell you that they need general donations of money or even time rather than ones specifically targeting childhood hunger during the summer. Please honor their request. When you help these organizations in general, your help will, in some way, benefit the children the organization assists.
Many summer meal programs are federally supported through the USDA’s Summer Food Service Program, but many eligible children don’t take advantage of the program, because they lack transportation or their family doesn’t know the service exists. Consider asking the SFSP location near you what you can do to help spread the word. And if the nearest location is some distance away, ask how you can help close that gap.
On a micro-level, if you’re at home during the day and know children who may be experiencing hunger this summer, think of ways you can help one or two families. Give them grocery gift cards or invite the kids over to play with your kids, making sure the invitation includes lunch at your house.
And if you feel called to go full-on Lunch Lady, don’t let laws discourage you completely. Consult with area nonprofits on how you can start a lunch program in your area. A good nonprofit that’s already doing work to fight hunger may be able to help you navigate the landscape of rules and regulations better than you could by yourself.
Humorous songs have probably been around for almost as long as humans have been making music. From Weird Al Yankovic to the bizarre songs that get passed around on social media, comical tunes combine two pleasures: music and laughter.
While there’s plenty of fodder for posts on humor in music, I’m going to pick four of my favorite musical humorists to highlight in this post. I’ll start with the two that my readers are most likely to know and move on to two who are more obscure.
Peter Schickele/P.D.Q. Bach
I almost left Peter Schickele out of this post. I figured that everyone who loves classical music already knows about him, and those who don’t won’t care about him. In the end, I couldn’t omit him — it would be like leaving J.R.R. Tolkien off a list of fantasy authors. And maybe I’m wrong about his popularity, and I will actually lead someone new to discover his work!
Schickele is the humorist for people who love classical music. More than 50 years ago he created the character P.D.Q. Bach, supposedly the last of Johann Sebastian Bach’s many children. Since then, he has composed an enormous body of work under P.D.Q. Bach’s name. Nothing is sacred. Schickele shamelessly steals music from other composers with no regard to the era in which it was composed. One composition might incorporate references to Schubert, J.S. Bach, a folk song, and a television theme song.
For many Schickele fans, one of the best things about his P.D.Q. Bach compositions is his creative instrumentation. He’s used balloons, bicycles, mailing tubes, and wine bottles, among many other common objects. Even better, he’s invented instruments like the tromboon, a combination of a trombone and a bassoon, which Schickele describes as having “all of the disadvantages of both in one easy-to-schlep instrument.”
Schickele’s work extends beyond his P.D.Q. Bach compositions. He’s composed other humorous music under his own name, such as “Horse Opera for Brass Quintet,” as well as serious work, such as the film score for Silent Running. For several years he also had a radio program, Schickele Mix, which explored commonalities between several different musical pieces. One episode might include the last movement of Beethoven’s Symphony No. 5, an aria from Mozart’s “Le Nozze di Figaro,” Strauss’ “Blue Danube” waltz, “Me & Bobby McGee,” “Mambo No. 8,” a traditional polka, and several other songs, ranging from classical to popular music.
I don’t think anyone could achieve what Schickele has done without knowing music inside and out. If by any chance, you do not know Schickele, and if you enjoy any classical musical at all, I encourage you to take the time to listen to some of his vast body of work.
Tom Lehrer
I also debated including Tom Lehrer on this list. Again, who doesn’t know him? But I felt that leaving him out would be as much a crime as leaving out Schickele.
Lehrer is probably best known for his song “The Elements” — a list of the elements on the periodic table set to Gilbert and Sullivan’s “I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General.”
A mathematics professor, Lehrer wrote a few other academic compositions, including “New Math.” But Lehrer is at his best when he’s being a little wicked — wicked enough that several of his songs were banned in different countries. His earliest songs were mostly just for fun, such as his popular “Poisoning Pigeons in the Park.”
When they see us coming,
The birdies all try and hide
But they still go for peanuts
When coated with cyanide.
In the 1960s, he was hired to write songs for That Was the Week That Was, so many of his songs became more political or news-related. He didn’t hesitate to skewer anyone on the right or left as he sang songs about the folk song movement, censorship, pollution, nuclear proliferation, and the Second Vatican Council.
First we got the bomb, and that was good,
‘Cause we love peace and motherhood.
From “Who’s Next?”
In the early 1970s, Lehrer created a handful of songs (a couple of which he sang) for The Electric Company. Soon after that, he decided to leave music behind. He didn’t write very many songs during the period he was an active musician, but much of what he wrote is gold.
Flanders and Swann
Now we’re entering into more unfamiliar territory. English musicians Michael Flanders and Donald Swann attended school together, where they wrote a musical revue in 1940. They began working together again in 1948. They wrote and performed as a comedy duo until 1967. Because their careers overlapped quite a bit with Lehrer’s, I can’t help but compare them to him. When I think of Lehrer, I think of a man with a wicked sense of humor. When I think of Flanders and Swann, I think of a pair who were masters of a gentler and sillier kind of comedy. After all, some of their best-known songs are the inoffensive and very singable “The Hippopotamus” and their amusing take on the finale of Mozart’s Horn Concerto No. 4, “Ill Wind.”
But while they may not have written an ode to smut like Lehrer did (at least, not as far as I know), Flanders and Swann weren’t all sweetness and innocence. Their song “Have Some Madeira, M’Dear,” is dark and disturbing, particularly in light of the #metoo movement.
That song aside, the pair had other things in common with Lehrer. Their songs included political satire (“All Gall” poked fun at Charles de Gaulle) and references to nuclear proliferation, although their “20 Tons of TNT” is far more somber than Lehrer’s “Who’s Next?”
Children have no need of sharing;
At each new nativity
Come the ghostly Magi bearing
Twenty tons of TNT.
And, like Lehrer, the duo even turned to science for inspiration.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtEqn-5XHpU
I’m not sure that Flanders and Swann’s work has aged as well as Lehrer’s, which may account for their relative obscurity compared to him, even though they were far more prolific. But if they are new to you, you owe it yourself to look up some of their songs. Start with “The Gasman Cometh” and, if you enjoy classical music or ever played an instrument, “Ill Wind.” And if you have preschool-aged children, introduce them to some of Flanders and Swann’s animal songs — definitely “The Hippopotamus,” as well “The Gnu,” “The Warthog,” and “The Sloth.”
Anna Russell
Before there was Peter Schickele, there was Anna Russell. Not successful in opera or as a folk singer, Russell found her true calling when she started performing musical parody. Like Schickele, Russell is best appreciated by those who know classical music, though she also made references to subjects such as folk music and beat poetry (with jazz accompaniment).
While all of the performers I’ve listed here did a little spoken word performance, at least in terms of introductions, Russell’s work is a mix of music and spoken word. Her album Anna Russell, Encore? includes “The French Horn” and “How to Enjoy Your Bagpipe,” which are “lectures” on instruments. Other pieces are a combination of spoken word and music, such as her demonstration of lieder.
If you’re a fan of Schickele and don’t know Russell, you definitely should explore her work. And if you enjoy classical music but think too many people take it far too seriously, you will love Russell. Many of her albums can be purchased or streamed on Amazon and iTunes.
Shopping at a grocery store is convenient. Many of us live relatively near one that’s open for several hours a day — perhaps 24 hours — and has a wide selection. But it’s worth making the effort to shop directly from local farmers during the growing season.
Here’s why…
Local foods take less energy to get to market than foods shipped from around the world.
You’ll support your local economy.
You may contribute less to slavery when you shop locally, although there are no guarantees. Until recently, buying a tomato in a grocery store meant that there was a strong chance you were buying a tomato picked by a victim of human trafficking, so it was particularly important to me to buy tomatoes from the farmer’s market. But slavery is everywhere, and buying from a local farmer doesn’t always mean that you aren’t paying for slave labor.
On a completely selfish level, the food you purchase may be fresher and taste better. The difference between fresh, in-season fruits and vegetables and produce from your grocery store can be shocking.
There are three ways you can shop from farmers: at farmers markets, through community-supported agriculture, and at pick-your-own, or U-pick, farms. Each has its pluses and minuses.
Farmers Markets
Farmers markets will require you to get to the market. If your area is like mine, they are probably popping up all over the place, so you may not have far to travel. I’ll make a confession, though: because I prefer a bigger market with a wider selection, I go to a market further from home rather than shopping at the ones closest to me. That means more energy-usage on my part, although I do carpool with another person.
One of the greatest benefits of a good farmers market is the selection. During the height of growing season, I have far more fruits and vegetables to choose from than I could cook in a week. And for most items, I can choose from several different vendors, allowing me to choose the quantity, quality, and price that best fit my needs.
However, at most of the markets I’ve attended, you can get far more than healthy foods. My favorite market sells jams and jellies, candy, baked goods, and even stuffed animals. In other words, you can walk out of a farmers market with things you never intended to purchase and do not need — just like at the grocery store. And worse, you may even feel a little righteous when you do this, because you purchased these things at a farmers market.
Community-supported Agriculture (CSAs)
Depending on the options in your area, it’s possible to use even less energy getting your produce if you use a CSA. When you belong to a CSA, your farmer will drop off your “share” of food at a set delivery point once a week. If you live or work near a delivery point, it’s easy to pick up your produce. In many cases, you have the option to purchase a full share or a half share.
A CSA may provide opportunities for you to get to know the farmer. That also can happen at a farmer’s market, but you don’t want to distract the vendors from other customers. A CSA might offer opportunities, ranging from work days to harvest festivals, to visit the farm from which you get your food.
The major downside to CSAs is the lack of selection. You get what you get. If the farmer has a bumper crop of fennel, and you hate fennel, you are going to have an awful lot of fennel to get rid of. And you’ll need to cook around whatever you’re given. I found that, even splitting a share with my mother, I was throwing away produce far too often; I just wasn’t good at keeping up and working with whatever I got for the week.
Pick-Your-Own Farms
Similar to farmer’s markets, pick-your-own farms give you control over what you get and how much you purchase. The downside is that, unless you live near such a farm, you will probably be driving further than you would for either a CSA drop-off site or a farmer’s market. And depending on the farm, your selection may be even more limited than using a CSA. Where I live, pick-your-own farms tend to be limited to just a few crops: one farm I go to sold only strawberries and pumpkins until recently. However, it is sometimes possible to discover farms with a larger selection of crops.
I find it’s very hard to purchase all of my food from local farmers; other people may be more successful than I am. But I still try to purchase more locally grown food from late spring through the fall, because I know it’s better for me, better for the farmers, and better for the environment. If you haven’t made a point of buying from local farmers in the past, try one of these options this year and see how you like it!
Both of these films are beautiful, even spiritual. Both involve a man on a transformative journey, although the two men start in drastically different places. Both are comedies, though they are deeper than many straightforward movies in that genre. Both have Amanda Plummer (a fact I only realized when looking at her bio on IMDB). And both are worth watching again and again.
Joe Versus the Volcano
Joe (Tom Hanks) hates his job, and rightfully so. He works as an advertising librarian in a bleak, hellish factory that manufactures rectal probes. The lights flicker. The coffee is bad. Joe’s boss won’t even let him keep a garish lamp that brings him joy, though he isn’t disturbing anyone.
When Joe goes home at night, it’s to an empty apartment that’s only a little better than his office. He has neither family nor friends. So when he is diagnosed with a terminal “brain cloud,” he snaps. He quits his job and asks a coworker on a date, which doesn’t go very well after he shares his diagnosis. He seems prepared to spend the final months of his life alone in his apartment, but that changes when a businessman appears with an enticing offer: Joe can live like a king for a few weeks if he’s willing to throw himself into an island volcano. In this way, the islanders will get what they want — a human sacrifice to appease the god of the volcano — and they will give the businessman what he wants — access to a resource on their island.
Joe takes him up on his offer and heads for the island.
The most moving scene of the movie is very spiritual, although not at all dogmatic. Following a storm, Joe is adrift on a patched-together raft with one other person, who has been unconscious the entire time. His situation seems hopeless. He’ll either die where he is, or he’ll somehow make it to the island, where he’ll have to commit suicide. And should neither of those happen, he still has only months to live. But sunburned and thirsty and with seemingly no way out, Joe says a prayer that is neither a plea for himself nor for his companion. He simply expresses awe-inspired gratitude.
I’ll say no more about this movie, but if you haven’t watched it, I urge you to do so.
The Fisher King
Unlike Joe, shock jock Jack Lucas (Jeff Bridges) is on top of the world at the beginning of his story. He’s just received an offer for a role in a sitcom. Sure, he’s having problems with his significant other, but all of that’s overshadowed by his career success.
Then something he said to a listener leads to act of violence, and Jack’s world comes tumbling down.
Three years later, Jack’s a clerk in a video store. He has a new relationship, but he’s barely holding things together. After an evening of getting drunk, contemplating suicide, and then being assaulted by a couple of teenagers, Jack is rescued by a homeless man, Parry (Robin Williams). Parry believes he is a knight in search of the Holy Grail and that Jack has been sent to help him. The plot sounds like a cliché: “man’s life is changed after he encounters a homeless person.” But the film doesn’t come off that way — in part because Jack’s path to redemption isn’t straightforward, in part because the story is propelled by the power of myth.
There are a lot of references to God in this film — from the opening minutes, when Jack declares, “Thank God I’m me,” to his girlfriend Anne’s interesting theory about women, men, God, and the devil. But it’s when Parry tells Jack the story of the Fisher King that the movie becomes spiritually powerful.
There are lots of redemption stories, but there’s something particularly wonderful about this one. Maybe because there’s more to the story than Jack’s redemption.
The next time you’re in the mood for comedy with a little weight to it, look for these two neglected films. It’s a sad day when neither of them makes a 100-best movies of the ’90s list that includes Dumb and Dumber.
If you live in an area with yards, I want you to step away from your computer for a moment and look out your window.
What did you see?
If your neighborhood is like mine and if, unlike mine at this moment, it isn’t covered in snow, you saw lawns. Lots and lots of lawns. You probably also saw trees, shrubs, and (perhaps) flowers, which may or may not be native to your area. But mostly you saw lawns. You may even have seen lawns if you live in the desert southwest. My grandparents in New Mexico maintained a small lawn in front of and behind their house.
Lawns can provide play areas for kids and dogs, but they’re not really good for the environment. They don’t support local wildlife, including pollinators. They require maintenance that harms the ecosystem. Unless you are in an area that receives a decent amount of rain, they need to be watered. They need to be mowed, and unless you are using a push reel mower, that means contributing to air pollution. And then there are the fertilizers, pesticides, and herbicides we put on our lawns to make them look pretty.
What if we planted native plants instead?
Okay, maybe you want to keep some of your lawn for the kids and the dogs. Or, maybe you want to get rid of your lawn but are afraid of what the neighbors would think. In some locations, a yard filled with native plants fits right in, but I live in a typical suburban neighborhood. At times, I’ve daydreamed about replacing our front lawn with native plants, but then I think about how much our house would stand out and imagine the neighbors rising up in revolt. Actually, our neighbors are nice, and perhaps changing our landscaping would give other people permission to do so. But being the first in your neighborhood takes a great deal of bravery, so I’ve never proposed this to my husband. Besides, neither of us is really into yard work or landscaping.
But you don’t have to transform your entire yard — especially not in one year. Just shrinking your lawn and adding more native plants can make a difference. You’ll reduce environmental harm and improve the habitat for local wildlife.
How do I go about adding native plants to my yard?
The first step is to identify plants that are native to your area. Several websites can help. The National Wildlife Federation and the National Audubon Society both have native plant finders that help you select plants based on your ZIP code. The Lady Bird Johnson Wildflower Center offers more choices for your search, allowing you to select the U.S. state or Canadian province you live in, soil moisture, light requirements, and other characteristics.
You may want to look for organizations in your area that can provide advice on native plants. The Meadow Project has an excellent list broken down by region and state.
When you’re ready to purchase plants, you’ll want to look for a reputable grower. Unfortunately, it’s not as easy as walking into your nursery and asking a staff person to direct you to their native plants section. It’s a good idea to educate yourself before you go shopping, so that you know to ask important questions, such as where the plants were propagated. You can also look for a nursery that specializes in native plants. Again, I recommend The Meadow Project for their list of native plant nurseries. Although Portland, Oregon-based PlantNative focuses many of its resources on its area, it does have a list of native plant nurseries throughout the U.S. as well as helpful organizations in the U.S. and Canada.
For many of us in the U.S., the growing season has either just started or has yet to begin. If you have a yard and haven’t made all of your plant purchases, consider making this the year you start going native.
We Rate Dogs explains its rating system and gives birth to a meme
Social media can be a time-suck, but it also can provide a momentary escape.
It’s likely that you have some social media accounts you follow just for fun. I’d like to encourage you to add a few more to your list — five accounts I especially enjoy. I decided to confine myself to accounts on Twitter, Instagram, and/or Facebook. This meant that I had to leave out the Los Angeles County Museum of Art (LACMA). LACMA is active on the platforms I was considering, but their Snapchat account is where they truly shine. I also chose to stick with accounts that are mostly light-hearted. That decision disqualified Humans of New York, which frequently dwells on serious subjects.
The sites listed below are in no particular order, except for the first one, which is definitely the best-known account of the group and the one that brings me the most joy.
We Rate Dogs
We Rate Dogs is on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, but — perhaps because it got started there — I really associate it with Twitter. There’s something about seeing a dog pop up in my Twitter feed that makes me smile.
Most We Rate Dogs posts are exactly what the account’s name promises. People submit photos or videos of their dogs, and the dogs are rated — always on an “out of 10” scale in which the dog’s rating exceeds a “10.” Between the photos and the ratings, you are practically guaranteed to feel happier after reading a few posts.
You don’t need to spend too much time with this account before you notice certain themes popping up. My favorite “series” involves dogs that are accused of being other fictitious animals, such as “sandy sea slugs.” One recent photo shows a happy dog in a lion costume with the accompanying comment: “This is outrageous. We do not rate Deadly Moroccan Road Lions, no matter how jubilant they may appear. We only rate dogs… 12/10.”
If you are not already familiar with We Rate Dogs, check it out on your favorite social media platform right now. You can come back to the rest of my list later.
A Small Fiction
Also on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, A Small Fiction is a microfiction account by James Miller. Some stories are funny (“‘You can’t have your cake and eat it, too.’ ‘Alright. I’ll have my cake, and eat your cake.’ ‘Wait, no, that’s–‘ ‘Who else brought cake?'”). Some are sad (“‘We won’t grow up. We’ll build tree forts and never come down,’ said the kids. ‘Good luck,’ said the adults, ‘we’re killing all the trees.'”) Some are simply beautiful (“Dog watched his human cry, concerned. Where was human’s smile? Probably lost somewhere, dog thought. That was OK. Dog knew how to fetch.”). If you’re a person who’s too busy to read for pleasure, you no longer have an excuse.
Unvirtuous Abbey
Unvirtuous Abbey has accounts on both Facebook and Twitter. These “digital monks” aren’t afraid to approach Christianity with a sense of humor and many pop culture references. In other words, these are my people. They’re a welcoming bunch, providing space for people who question faith or feel rejected by the church. Here’s a taste of what you’ll find if you visit them: In late February, Unvirtuous Abbey shared a tweet from @keet0007 about naming a German Shepherd “the Lord” so that they could say “The Lord is my Shepherd.” In classic We Rate Dogs style, the abbey added: “13/10 would definitely walk on water with.”
Virtuous Abbey
I’d love to know what the relationship is between Virtuous Abbey and Unvirtuous Abbey. There clearly is one, because the abbeys sometimes mention each other in posts. Virtuous Abbey is the newer of the two. They post less often and have fewer followers. But despite their name, they can be every bit as irreverent as their “unvirtuous” brothers. They describe themselves as “putting the attitude back in platitude, and the pie back in pious!” The pop culture references are there, too: in 2017, they posted an article on robot-led funerals with the comment “Ideally they’d take the form of Daleks and shout ‘Incinerate” to encourage cremation.” You can find them on Facebook and Twitter.
Queen of Luna
Saraswati, who goes by Queen of Luna on Instagram and Facebook, is a Malaysian makeup artist who incorporates her hijab into amazing cosplays. Her recent posts on Instagram have included her cosplays of Aquaman, Jessica Rabbit, Two-Face, Fiona (from Shrek), and Cinderella. I’m not usually into celebrity cosplayers, but I am awe-inspired by what she is able to do. If you are a geek, a Disney fanatic, or an aspiring makeup artist, I encourage you to follow Saraswati.
What are your favorite enjoyable ways to waste a little time on social media?
Social media gets a lot of negative press. Beyond the recent news that Cambridge Analytica was scraping data from Facebook users through a quiz app, there are plenty of stories about how social media is addictive and can make us feel bad. And, of course, the news is filled with stories about a prominent person putting others down on Twitter.
I’m not anti-social media. As a nonprofit marketing communications professional, I see social media as a valuable tool. It allows organizations to use their marketing budgets more effectively through carefully targeted messages. (I’m not talking about what Cambridge Analytica did, which was underhanded.)
As for feeling bad, humans have always compared themselves to others; social media is just another way to do that. I do read potentially envy-inducing good news on social media, but I also read about people’s struggles. And how often do your online friends just make you laugh? I probably read more messages that move me to mirth or to prayer than posts that make me wish I had what someone else has.
Not everyone feels the way I do. If you’re concerned about how social media affects you, you may choose to delete your accounts. I won’t criticize you for that. But if you stay on social media, whether you like it or your career requires it, you can use it as a force for good in the world.
Use your accounts to do good.
I’ve already written about a couple of ways you can use social media to make a difference. You can boost someone’s career by writing a recommendation on LinkedIn, by connecting with strangers who could benefit from networking with you, or by leaving a positive review online. Social media can help you step outside your bubble when you choose to follow people who are not like you.
You can also use social media to establish genuine connections. Facebook lends itself to this beautifully. Over the years I’ve found it useful for getting to know people better and even for establishing new friendships. I didn’t know my cousins well when we were growing up. Now Facebook has helped me have stronger connections with some of them. Through Facebook, I’ve reconnected with people I thought I’d lost track of and stayed in touch with former coworkers. Best of all, I met one of my dearest friends through Facebook. Although I seldom send friend requests to people I don’t know, nor do I usually accept them, I once took the risk of sending a request to a person who shares many of the same friends, because I loved reading her comments on their pages. She accepted my request and invited me to meet her. My life has been better for it.
Facebook isn’t the only form of social media we can use this way. I’ve yet to establish a new friendship through Twitter, but sometimes I’ll experience a moment of connection that represents the best of the service. Sometimes when I follow someone, they’ll send a message that doesn’t seem to be an automatic response. I’ll message them back, they’ll respond, and we’ll have a genuine conversation. Other times, I’ll tweet or retweet something, and someone will really engage with me in response. Those moments are gold — the times when Twitter stops becoming a tool for merely “following” somebody or broadcasting to the world and becomes a venue where complete strangers actually connect.
Perhaps the most difficult thing we can do is to use social media to reach out to people in love instead of criticizing others. It can be very tempting to take someone down a peg when we disagree with them. And the likes and retweets we get for a clever insult only validates our behavior. (Even when I’ve resisted a nasty tweet, I’m afraid I’ve validated a lot of them.)
But what do we really accomplish with these tweets, other than showing off? If our goal is to take a stand on something, we can address the issue rather than an individual. If our goal is to change someone’s mind, we can probably find a more effective way than delivering a clever remark at their expense.
There are times when it’s good to call someone out on their behavior. As a Christian, I would describe this as using a prophetic voice. Much of what the biblical prophets said can be boiled down to either “Turn your life around” or “There’s hope.” In the spirit of the former type of prophetic message, there are times to use the communication tools at your disposal, social media included, to tell people they’re on the wrong path. But if you’re thinking about how many people will “like” your message, or if you’re focused on insulting a person rather than correcting them, it’s safe to say you’re more concerned about your own glory than about encouraging someone to change.
So, while there may be times to say something critical to someone, perhaps we should focus on building people up. What if we used the power of social media to say “Well done” or “I’m sorry you’re going through this”? What if we vowed to start being more encouraging?
The story of Chamillionaire’s desire to help the Garcia family shows the power of social media for both good and ill. When the rapper and tech investor read about Jorge Garcia’s deportation, he emailed the reporter, wanting to contact the family. Instead of responding, the reporter tweeted about the email, giving Chamillionaire lots of unwanted attention. Some people used social media to criticize him for supporting the Garcias; others helped him connect with the family. In a series of videos, Chamillionaire expressed distress about the reporter’s behavior, explained why he wanted to help, addressed critics, and mentioned the family’s GoFundMe page. The sequence of interactions sparked by his desire to make a difference shows people using social media to build themselves up, to tear others down… and to help.
If we’re going to use social media, let’s be the people who use it to do good.
A few weeks ago, I wrote a serious post about how we need to be willing to be uncomfortable if we want to make a difference.
Consider this post its light-hearted cousin: discomfort for the sake of fun.
As I mentioned in my previous post, one of the blessings of discomfort is growth. If we always eat the same sorts of food, read the same sorts of books, and see the same sorts of movies, we won’t grow.
There are countless ways to use your downtime to grow. Here are a few ideas to get you started:
Sneaky Cards. One of my earliest blog posts was about the interactive scavenger hunt known as Sneaky Cards. Most of us will feel stretched by at least some of the activities in this game. Anyone up for lying on the ground until someone asks if you’re okay?
Do One Thing Every Day That Scares You. This one-year journal is filled with inspirational quotes and assignments that encourage you to embrace discomfort. I started the journal in 2017, and a little over half-way through the year, I realized that I’d need more than a year to complete it. For most of us, life is filled with mundane details. You go to work, and when you come home, there’s dinner to make and the dog to walk and children to help with homework… you get the idea. Finding time to tackle one of the assignments in the book can easily become just one more thing on your to-do list. On my busy days, I would pick one of the easier assignments, such as “Dare to create art today.” When I got to the point where trying to fit the remaining challenges into my daily life was too overwhelming, I set the book aside. I still plan on finishing it, but I’ll do it in my own time.
You Can Do It! The Merit Badge Handbook for Grown-up Girls. This book is for people who loved earning merit badges — or wish they’d had the chance to earn some. You can choose from 60 badges, including filmmaking, speaking a foreign language, fire walking (think I’ll skip that one), snow sports, car care, and genealogy. There are even badge stickers in the back of the book. (Okay, they aren’t patches, but were you really going to sew your “starting a rock band” badge to a vest and wear it? You were? Maybe you can make your own and sew them to a vest you make to earn your “sewing” badge.) Despite the title, there is no reason a man couldn’t use this book to stretch himself. He can just skip over the female-oriented things, like a sidebar about “Gyno Know-How” in the “healthcare” badge section.
A Year of Reading the World and Global Table Adventure. Two different bloggers, two different challenges: you can read your way around the world or cook your way around the world. If you’re obsessive, like me, you can do both, and even see if you can find movies and music from each country you tackle.
Tyler Cowen’s suggestions for avoiding complacency.Tyler Cowen believes that Americans are becoming too complacent. Part of the problem is technology; companies figure out what we like and serve up more of the same. Part of it is our own refusal to move or to embrace the new. I’ll address some arguments against Cowen in a moment, but whatever you think of his priorities, check out his ideas for fighting complacency. Pick a book for its cover? Challenge yourself to shop exclusively at a specialty grocery store for a month? Sign me up!
There Are Times When a Rut Can Be Good
I mentioned arguments against Cowen. When I was telling a friend about his “complacency quiz” (no longer available on his website), she objected to how much of an emphasis he placed on moving. My family moved a lot, and I would like to live one or two more places — at least for a little while — before I die. But staying put is beneficial for relationships. People often stay in one place to be near their family and even their friends. While I’d be one of the first people to encourage those who have never lived outside a certain area to move somewhere else for a little while, relationships are important, and they’re worth taking into consideration if you’re pondering a move.
Ruts can also simplify your life. Dr. Richard Swenson argues in favor of cutting back on the number of choices we make (what we’ll wear, what we’ll eat for breakfast, where we’ll go on vacation) in order to create margin. Many of us live at such a frantic pace that we’re sorely in need of margin — a good reason to actually embrace complacency in some areas of our lives.
And ruts, of course, are the essence of habits — bad or good. If you’ve established the habit of taking a morning walk in order to get more exercise, by all means, keep doing what you need to do. I would argue that you could shake up your routine a little by trying running, if you’re able, or by choosing a different route, but healthy habits are more important than complacency.
I’ve interviewed many people over the years, and I’ve often asked them about their heroes or role models. Frequently, they will mention a family member. That makes sense; they’re thinking of the people who shaped their lives. I’d guess that most families have at least one person — often more than one — who behaves admirably. They are the sort of people we want to become, demonstrating love, hard work, selflessness. In an ideal world, all of us would have family members like this… and strive to join them as role models.
What about fictitious role models? Children have them, and I’m willing to bet that many adults also cherish one or more in their hearts. Wonder Woman, Samwise Gamgee, Indiana Jones, Chihiro Ogino — these characters inspire us to be stronger, braver, and better than we are.
Many of us also look up to famous people who have achieved something we want to achieve. Neil Gaiman is my writing hero. I don’t strive to write like him. I don’t think I could if I wanted to. But I admire him for the quality of his work and for how prolific he is. I admire him for not being confined to one genre. I admire him for using his fame as a platform to speak out on important issues. In these ways, I wish I could be like him.
Maybe your hero is an athlete or artist or entrepreneur who has achieved what you’d like to achieve. When we can look up to a successful person, we can learn from them and move closer to our goals.
There’s nothing wrong with any of these heroes. Your grandma, Steve Jobs, Princess Leia — these people can inspire you to grow. But if you don’t have a world-changer in your pantheon of heroes — a person who has devoted his or her life to making a significant difference for the good of others — I encourage you to choose one.
Among my world-changing heroes are William Wilberforce, a British abolitionist; Elizabeth Fry, a prison reformer; and Paul Farmer, co-founder of Partners in Health. People like them remind me of just how much one person can achieve. They help me to see beyond myself, demonstrating what it is like to dedicate much of your life to serving others. When we look up to people like these, they can help us reorient our values, which can be jostled out of alignment by our everyday concerns.
Remember that heroes are human
Whether our heroes are living or historic figures, whether we know them personally or just observe them from a distance, any real person we look up to has the potential to let us down. Family members we admire may not be there for us when we need them. Our heroes may succeed in some of their efforts and fail spectacularly in others. They may demonstrate flaws we wish they didn’t have. If you expect a real person to be as loyal and brave as Sam Gamgee, you will almost certainly be disappointed.
I think political leaders are particularly vulnerable in this regard. When we vote for a leader, we hope they will bring about certain changes. But even good leaders won’t achieve all that voters hoped for. When events outside a leader’s control occur, such as a global recession, their choices might make the situation a little better than it would have been under another leader, but people are more likely to focus on the recession than on the notion that it could have been worse. A leader may face opposition that keeps him or her from changing things as quickly or dramatically as their supporters would like. There’s nothing wrong with expecting our leaders to be people of integrity who are willing to take action, but people who expect that electing this or that leader will drastically change things for the better are probably the people who become cynical and stop voting. Who we elect matters, but it’s unlikely they’ll fulfill all of our expectations.
I’m not saying we should excuse every failure we see in a hero, shrugging it off with the words, “Well, s/he’s only human.” But we need to be careful that we don’t hold our role models to higher standards than we do ourselves in terms of their behavior or their accomplishments. Otherwise, we’re virtually guaranteed to be disappointed.
It’s easy to grow cynical when we see our role models fall, but if we choose to let human frailty stop us from embracing heroes, we’re missing out on a source of inspiration. Heroes fail — but they also can motivate us. If you allow them to, heroes can teach you how to become a better person, even how to change the world. Don’t be afraid to have heroes. You’ll be a better person for it.
