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Something Wonderful

Five Wonderful Social Media Time-Wasters

We Rate Dogs is my favorite social media time suck
We Rate Dogs explains its rating system and gives birth to a meme

 

Social media can be a time-suck, but it also can provide a momentary escape.

It’s likely that you have some social media accounts you follow just for fun. I’d like to encourage you to add a few more to your list — five accounts I especially enjoy. I decided to confine myself to accounts on Twitter, Instagram, and/or Facebook. This meant that I had to leave out the Los Angeles County Museum of Art (LACMA). LACMA is active on the platforms I was considering, but their Snapchat account is where they truly shine. I also chose to stick with accounts that are mostly light-hearted. That decision disqualified Humans of New York, which frequently dwells on serious subjects.

The sites listed below are in no particular order, except for the first one, which is definitely the best-known account of the group and the one that brings me the most joy.

We Rate Dogs

We Rate Dogs is on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, but — perhaps because it got started there — I really associate it with Twitter. There’s something about seeing a dog pop up in my Twitter feed that makes me smile.

Most We Rate Dogs posts are exactly what the account’s name promises. People submit photos or videos of their dogs, and the dogs are rated — always on an “out of 10” scale in which the dog’s rating exceeds a “10.” Between the photos and the ratings, you are practically guaranteed to feel happier after reading a few posts.

You don’t need to spend too much time with this account before you notice certain themes popping up. My favorite “series” involves dogs that are accused of being other fictitious animals, such as “sandy sea slugs.” One recent photo shows a happy dog in a lion costume with the accompanying comment: “This is outrageous. We do not rate Deadly Moroccan Road Lions, no matter how jubilant they may appear. We only rate dogs… 12/10.”

If you are not already familiar with We Rate Dogs, check it out on your favorite social media platform right now. You can come back to the rest of my list later.

A Small Fiction

Also on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, A Small Fiction is a microfiction account by James Miller. Some stories are funny (“‘You can’t have your cake and eat it, too.’ ‘Alright. I’ll have my cake, and eat your cake.’ ‘Wait, no, that’s–‘ ‘Who else brought cake?'”). Some are sad (“‘We won’t grow up. We’ll build tree forts and never come down,’ said the kids. ‘Good luck,’ said the adults, ‘we’re killing all the trees.'”) Some are simply beautiful (“Dog watched his human cry, concerned. Where was human’s smile? Probably lost somewhere, dog thought. That was OK. Dog knew how to fetch.”). If you’re a person who’s too busy to read for pleasure, you no longer have an excuse.

Unvirtuous Abbey

Unvirtuous Abbey has accounts on both Facebook and Twitter. These “digital monks” aren’t afraid to approach Christianity with a sense of humor and many pop culture references. In other words, these are my people. They’re a welcoming bunch, providing space for people who question faith or feel rejected by the church. Here’s a taste of what you’ll find if you visit them: In late February, Unvirtuous Abbey shared a tweet from @keet0007 about naming a German Shepherd “the Lord” so that they could say  “The Lord is my Shepherd.” In classic We Rate Dogs style, the abbey added: “13/10 would definitely walk on water with.”

Virtuous Abbey

I’d love to know what the relationship is between Virtuous Abbey and Unvirtuous Abbey. There clearly is one, because the abbeys sometimes mention each other in posts. Virtuous Abbey is the newer of the two. They post less often and have fewer followers. But despite their name, they can be every bit as irreverent as their “unvirtuous” brothers.  They describe themselves as “putting the attitude back in platitude, and the pie back in pious!” The pop culture references are there, too: in 2017, they posted an article on robot-led funerals with the comment “Ideally they’d take the form of Daleks and shout ‘Incinerate” to encourage cremation.” You can find them on Facebook and Twitter.

Queen of Luna

Saraswati, who goes by Queen of Luna on Instagram and Facebook, is a Malaysian makeup artist who incorporates her hijab into amazing cosplays. Her recent posts on Instagram have included her cosplays of Aquaman, Jessica Rabbit, Two-Face, Fiona (from Shrek), and Cinderella. I’m not usually into celebrity cosplayers, but I am awe-inspired by what she is able to do. If you are a geek, a Disney fanatic, or an aspiring makeup artist, I encourage you to follow Saraswati.

What are your favorite enjoyable ways to waste a little time on social media?

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