Tag: holidays

Certain holidays seem to be particularly painful for many people. Valentine’s Day is one of those days. The emphasis on romance has caused a bit of a backlash in the form of “Singles Awareness Day,” but plenty of people in relationships are unhappy on Valentine’s Day, too.

I’m not about to tell you to stop celebrating Valentine’s Day if you are in a romantic relationship. If you love Valentine’s Day, you don’t have to stop celebrating out of guilt. And if you don’t love it but your significant other does, it’s important to remember that you are a team and to figure out a way to make Valentine’s Day work for both of you.

I am going to suggest that, single or not, you shake things up this Valentine’s Day. Fight the notion that the holiday is all about romantic love and start celebrating all kinds of love — love for your family, love for your friends, love for humanity in general.

For several years now I’ve been making homemade valentines for friends and family. When I say homemade, I’m not talking about the beautifully handcrafted cards that your friend with the cool rubber stamps makes. Anyone who truly knows me knows that I am “craft challenged,” so my valentines tend to be hearts cut from construction paper, glued to a doily, and decorated with stickers. They may not be works of art, but I believe they demonstrate love better than a generic card that I can purchase at a drugstore in five minutes. (Sorry, Hallmark. I do buy cards… just not for Valentine’s Day.)

I have a list of people I like to send valentines to every year, but for the past couple of years, I’ve invited Facebook friends to request a valentine from me as well. It’s my way of letting them know that, if they’re not feeling the love this year, or if they just really like receiving valentines, I’d like to be there for them.

Last year I decided to take things a step further with 14 acts of kindness on Valentine’s Day. I spent the morning doing things like bringing flowers to a friend, putting a love note under someone’s windshield wiper, leaving a used book with a “take me” note just outside the library, and handing a lottery ticket to a stranger. It was one of the best Valentine’s Days I’ve had in years — and I mean no disrespect to my husband when I say that. I just really enjoyed finding ways to give love to others.

I also considered asking my local female friends if anyone wanted to have dinner together that evening. My hope was that dinner with a friend would be a welcome distraction for someone who was dreading Valentine’s Day. My sister did something like that for me when I was in high school, and I’ve always cherished the way she looked out for me on a night I had hoped to be going out with a certain boy. I didn’t end up extending the dinner invitation, because when I talked to my husband, he said he would like to go out with me — something we don’t always choose to do. It may be something I will do in the future, but only if he’s on board.

The concept of devoting a day to love isn’t a bad idea. The problem is that it has become a day piled high with romantic expectations. There’s no reason to stop celebrating romantic love on Valentine’s Day… but consider expanding your celebration and showering love on others, too.

This is the continuation of last week’s post on minor holidays.

July 30, The Feast Day of William Wilberforce, Olaudah Equiano, and Thomas Clarkson

I’m not sure when the Anglican Church chose to commemorate these three abolitionists, but they are included on its calendar of saints. You don’t have to be an Anglican or Episcopalian to celebrate their work. Here are some suggestions:

• Take the time to learn more about these men and the abolitionist movement in England.
• Watch Amazing Grace. Although, like pretty much all films based on history, it bends the truth to make a better movie, it will still teach you a lot about British efforts to abolish slavery.
• Educate yourself about slavery today and make a pledge to take an action to fight it — through refusing to buy certain products, through making a donation to an anti-trafficking organization, or through educating others about slavery.

August 4, National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day

There’s very little I need to say. If you have time to bake a batch of cookies and deliver them to someone who would appreciate them, you can celebrate this day in a way that will make a difference in someone’s life.

September 4, Labor Day (United States)

Labor Day was originally established as a day to honor American laborers, but over time it has become a farewell to summer, full of picnics and sales. How do we celebrate in a way that makes a difference, especially when much of the work the day was intended to honor falls in the area of rapidly dwindling occupations? Here are some ideas:

• Resolve to show respect to all workers, no matter what their occupation. Whatever your own job may be, make it a point not to look at people in other occupations as less hard-working or capable or otherwise beneath you. If their job is necessary, then their labor is valuable.
• If you go someplace on Labor Day where tipping is allowed or encouraged (a restaurant, coffee shop, or spa, for instance), tip generously in recognition of an employee’s hard work.
• Support laws that allow all American workers to take paid time off. There are no laws that require American businesses to provide paid time off, including parental leave or sick time, much less vacation time. This hits people in poorly paid jobs the hardest.
• Consider buying locally made products more often to support the economy in your area.

October 4, The Feast of St. Francis

Francis of Assisi was known for embracing poverty and for treating all of creation as his family. Because of his love for animals, some churches hold a blessing of the animals around October 4. Whether or not you recognize him as a saint, you may want to choose to use his feast day to show your own love for animals.

• If you choose to eat meat and animal products, be willing to pay more to support more humane methods of farming. I know someone who is trying to get to the point where she can trace the meat she uses back to the very animal it came from; she has developed relationships with farmers that allow her to do this. You may also choose to limit your consumption of animal products.
• Look into what your local animal shelter can use and make a donation. Some shelters collect not only financial donations, which are of critical importance, but also items like old towels or empty toilet paper tubes.
• If you are looking for a pet, please consider adopting a homeless animal. Far too many pets are euthanized or languish in shelters, because they are unwanted. Also, make it a point to spay or neuter your pets to prevent adding to the number of homeless animals. Even if you could give all of your kittens away, I can promise you that there are a number of cats at your local shelter that need good homes.
• Take a walk and clean up trash. My child and I once borrowed a backpack from the Mississippi National River and Recreation Area office in St. Paul. Among its contents were a trash bag and a request to pick up trash along the river. We found a huge amount of fishing line that had just been thrown on the ground. Trash like that isn’t merely an eyesore, it’s dangerous to birds and other animals. Picking up trash can save an animal’s life.

November 24, Buy Nothing Day

I mentioned this “holiday” six weeks ago, but it is worth mentioning again, so you can decide well ahead of time whether or not you will celebrate it, particularly if Black Friday shopping is a tradition in your family and your decision not to participate could shock or upset some people. The point of Buy Nothing Day is to protest consumerism and a society built on pointless, wasteful, even harmful shopping. While some people use the day to engage in acts of protest at shopping malls, you can choose less radical ways to spend your day. REI encourages people to get outside for the day. If the weather where you are isn’t conducive to that, you might want to spend time with a loved one, baking, playing games, or watching a movie at home. The phrase “it’s not the presents, it’s your presence” isn’t just a cute saying.

December 26, Boxing Day

Boxing Day is celebrated in England and other countries that once belonged to the British Empire. It’s always the day after Christmas, but precisely what its origins are is rather fuzzy. It could now be described as a British Black Friday… except for the fact that England has adopted America’s Black Friday sales, so we’ll just say it’s a major shopping day with lots of sales.

Since one of the theories behind the origins of Boxing Day involves opening alms boxes for the poor, we could choose to celebrate December 26, no matter where we live, as a day on which to engage in charitable acts. Volunteer your time to prepare meals that will be shipped to starving children, give a donation to a nonprofit, or box up belongings you no longer use and donate them to a charity that will distribute them to others.

 

I’ve suggested only one minor holiday per month that you can use to make a difference in the world. An Internet search will produce at least one holiday for every day of the year. Your options for alternative celebrations are limited only by your creativity.

If you’re a person who enjoys celebrations, particularly “alternative celebrations” that go beyond commercially promoted holiday activities, this post is for you. As you make plans for 2017, consider celebrating minor holidays in new ways and adding new holidays to your calendar. Today I’m proposing six suggestions for alternative celebrations through June. Next week I’ll cover the rest of the year with six more ideas.

January 16, Martin Luther King Day

For many Americans this is a cherished day off. We’re still a bit exhausted from the stretch of holiday celebrations that start on Thanksgiving and continue through New Year’s Day, and even if we had a week or so off around Christmas, we find it hard to get back into the swing of “ordinary life” in January. Like many people, I tend to give into the temptation to use MLK Day as a day to get things done outside of work or simply a day of play. But there are mindful ways to celebrate, which can help change our hearts… and the world.

• Reread (or read for the first time) Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech, or look for some of his other writing, such as his letter from a Birmingham jail.
• Take some time to read about current civil rights issues, such as the effect of the war on drugs on incarceration rates, particularly among African Americans; voters’ rights; the Black Lives Matter movement; and, since Bill O’Reilly recently brought it up, white privilege.
• Decide to spend part or all of the day in service to your community.

February 4 and 5, Souper Bowl of Caring

Started by a Columbia, South Carolina, church youth group in 1990, Souper Bowl of Caring encourages people, particularly youth, to devote Super Bowl weekend to service (on Saturday) and giving (on Sunday). You can check out the official Souper Bowl of Caring website to see if you can join a service project and contribute to a collection in your area, or you can just arrange to serve at and give to nonprofits of your choice.

March 14, Pi Day

I’m all for eating pie on Pi Day, but I really like an idea on the We Are Teachers website: Use Pi Day to raise money for charity, either by selling slices of pie for $3.14 each or by raffling off the chance to throw a whipped cream pie at a volunteer. The fundraiser they suggest is for St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, which is certainly a worthy cause, but I’d like to suggest that the money raised be used to help fund a math scholarship instead.

April 22, Earth Day

First celebrated in 1970, Earth Day is a day to focus on the environment. There are countless ways to observe it, among them:

• Commit to one small change in your life that will make a positive difference, such as composting, driving less, or eating more meatless meals.
• Volunteer for an environmentally focused project.
• Pick an important environmental issue (the Natural Resources Defense Council suggests some on their “Get Involved” page) and call elected officials about it.
• Take a kid — your own, a niece or nephew, or a child you’re mentoring — to a state park and share your love of nature with them.

May 1, May Day

As well as being International Workers’ Day, May 1 is a spring holiday with pagan origins that is celebrated under different names, including Beltane. From that holiday came the tradition of leaving May baskets for friends and loved ones to discover. When I was a kid, May baskets were a big deal to me. I made the baskets out of paper cones, and on at least one occasion I used a plastic berry basket. I always filled the baskets with flowers from our yard, which could be a challenge; I remember that when I lived in the D.C. area, it seemed like some years many flowers were already done blooming when May Day rolled around. When leaving a May basket for someone, the object is secrecy, so I’d sneak up to the target’s door, put down the basket, ring the bell, and then run and hide.

I asked my mom if she was the one who encouraged us to make May baskets, and she didn’t remember doing that. She believes my sister and I read about it somewhere. However I first got involved, the May basket tradition was something I cherished, and I carried it on with my own child for a while when she was young.

The practice of leaving May baskets has largely died out, but there are people calling for its revival. I’ll add my voice to the chorus. A simple basket of flowers can bring so much joy that it seems a shame not to take the time and trouble to celebrate May Day in this way.

June 1, Dare Day

You can find celebrations for pretty much everything, including, apparently, a day on which to take on challenges. Why not use the day to dare yourself to do something meaningful? Speak up about something you believe in; donate time, money, or belongings in a way that stretches you; or make a change in your life that is challenging but that will make the world a better place. Think of something that makes a difference that you’ve never dared to do before and pick this day to do it!

Check out part two of this post.

With Thanksgiving a week away, it seems appropriate to post about Christmas shopping. For those of us who exchange Christmas gifts, this time of year can be filled with purchasing decisions. One way we can make a difference in the world is to approach these decisions thoughtfully.

Think About Who You Are Buying For

We’ve probably all received an “obligation” gift – a present that a person bought for you because they felt that they had to give you a gift, but they clearly didn’t put any thought into it. The shirt that isn’t your style. The scented candle you’ll never use. These are the gifts that say, “I don’t know what you like, and I can’t be bothered to find out.”

Don’t be that giver.

If you’re going to buy someone a gift, try to get something you think the recipient will love. There’s no point in giving something just to check an item off your list. A real gift is given out of consideration for the other person. What are their interests? What are their needs? What do they love? What should you avoid buying, because the receiver will absolutely hate it?  Sometimes, despite your best efforts, you get it wrong. But most people can tell when you bought a gift to please them instead of buying a gift because you felt you had to. They’ll appreciate the effort.

Think About What You’ll Spend

In a previous post, I mentioned the concept of “margin” – leaving room in your life, including in your finances, from which to make your contributions to the world. Many people have chosen to spend less at Christmas in order to have more for the things that really matter to them.

Some of my most treasured gifts were inexpensive but very thoughtful. One anniversary my husband located a copy of Space Battleship Yamato, a Japanese cartoon we had both treasured as children. He made breakfast, and we watched the cartoon together. It’s one of the best gifts I’ve ever been given.

I won’t pretend there aren’t people who care how much you spend, but gift-giving is your choice. Decide ahead of time where you values lie and how much you can afford to give, and spend accordingly.

Think About When to Shop

Many stores have decided not to open on Thanksgiving this year. Frankly, I’m glad. I believe it’s good to have a few days a year when employees whose jobs are not critical to public safety can have time off to spend with their loved ones. Some stores offer time and a half for employees who work on holidays (though this is not legally required), and some employees would rather get the extra cash for working on Thanksgiving. But as I recall from my days in retail, most of us were happy to have a holiday off, and things don’t appear to have changed much since then. As you decide whether or not to patronize the stores that open on Thanksgiving (or just after midnight on Friday – an hour which requires many retail employees to decide between family time and sleep), take the people who will be there to serve you into consideration. Make your decision on whether or not to shop based on how you feel your choice will impact their lives.

If you want to be really radical and protest a culture that seems to value consumption and profit over health and happiness, consider celebrating “Buy Nothing Day” on Black Friday, too. REI is encouraging people to spend the day outside instead of shopping.

Think About Where You’ll Shop

Shopping at big box stores isn’t evil; you are helping to pay the wages of retail workers, many of whom badly need the money. But there are advantages to buying from small businesses in your community: more of the money you spend stays local, strengthening the economy in your area; small businesses add a character to your community that you don’t get from cookie-cutter national chains; and small businesses are actually a major source of employment opportunities. When you choose to forego doorbuster sales for personalized shopping at small businesses, your support makes a very real difference.